The Lot of Eros — Why Love Hurts When Timing Is Ignored
Dear Reader,
In my experience, with clients, if there’s one place women carry unnecessary guilt and shame, it’s in love and relationships.
Not because they didn’t try hard enough, but because we feel rejected and abandoned, which undermines our identity and sense of worth. No matter how hard we’ve tried to prove and work to win the love in the relationship. This is because we treat love with logic, fantasy, or like a game of endurance. Wait before you leave, hear me out.
I don’t know a woman who didn’t fight to stay in a toxic relationship even though her body, heart, and soul told her to go. Logic, reason, wounds, and ego told her to stay longer than her Soul Contract timing; that’s when it hurts the worst. But it’s what we do after the break-up or the dissolution of the relationship that spirals us out of our Soul Contract Timing, fragmenting our identity even further from our soul-aligned manifestations.
We run and hide. We get busy building a new life, taking trips, buying new things, starting fitness regimens, doing makeovers, and sharing just enough with friends and family to placate what was already obvious to them. We are hurting, trying to use external things to make us seem like we came out on top, that we’re fine, we’re better than ever. When in truth, we are not. Internally, we blame ourselves, even as we may ridicule our former partner outwardly.
In a Soul’s Contract, it may tell a client when and why the relationship is dissolving. I’ve even seen new sacred unions forming. Sometimes a Contract will state when to seek legal counsel, when to hire an attorney, and the steps to move forward. Yet we choose survival over self-love and self-worth because the relationship is a false security of self-worth and validation to the external success of “being lovable.”
Why did I say survival? Because at some point, we needed to be loved to prove to ourselves that we were worthy to obtain love. Then we worked hard to prove our worth to them. That’s love in survival mode. But that was in your Soul’s Contract, and the timing would have guided you, over time, to release the reason you thought you needed that relationship and to prepare you for a new version of love as you began to love yourself.
What we don’t know is that somewhere along the way, love already stopped feeling safe. So, we trained ourselves to earn it. A Soul Contract reveals when the Lot of Eros is activated, so you can move through the timing with power and the manifestations that go along with it. And here’s where we applied logic. If I'm not lovable, I’ll earn it by proving to this or that person I deserve it.
If that’s you, nothing is wrong with you. We’ve all been there. Yes. Even me!
What we were missing wasn’t commitment, healing, or emotional maturity. You were missing timing knowledge of our Soul’s Contract to gain the soul lesson of the chapter of our life we were in, so we could master the lesson. The lesson is different for everyone. Take me for example, I was undoing an ancestral and karmic bond with others. I came to embody love to be a spiritual leader. But, to also fall in love with myself in such a way that compassion and devotion to myself became pure and honest. That may not be your lesson. So, I have gained a level of love that, no matter what, allows me to quickly forgive, do no harm, and be a pillar of love for humanity. I’m still growing in that part, but that level of vibration magnetizes love into my life.
Why Love Feels Like the First Thing to Break
Most women believe relationship failure is deeply personal. It impacts our core identity structure. We may choose ambitions because it's easier than navigating the waters of love and relationships, even though we truly want them.
My clients have expressed these internalized phrases:
“I chose wrong.”
“I should’ve known better.”
“I should have left sooner.”
“I stayed for the kids because I didn’t want them to suffer.”
“Why can’t I make love work like everyone else?”
“Why does love cost me my peace, my focus, or my future?”
But love doesn’t fail the way we’ve been taught. Love doesn’t work because we expect someone else to validate our worthiness. Love isn’t an emotion; it’s an action. Our action. When we love ourselves as self-aware, we can listen to what the Soul is telling us, no matter what. That’s intuition, a verb that means we take action on the wisdom of Soul communication.
This is where the Lot of Eros lives.
The Lot of Eros is not just about romance in the superficial sense.
It governs:
relational timing
desire and attraction
emotional bonding
pleasure and intimacy
when love is meant to deepen, shift, or release
Lot of Eros is our strongest desires, sexual chemistry, and creative energy draw us to others for union, pleasure, and fulfillment. It’s power shapes our relationships, romance, and social lives, showing us exactly what excites us and our need for wholeness in our connection with self and others. The Lot of Eros reflects an instinctive drive for deep union, often tied to physical pleasure, emotional attraction, and the soul’s longing to connect with its Contract through you.
We know, when we are flirting for our ego's sake. We know when we are self-seeking for approval. We know. Yet we forget that the person across from us is an energetic magnet for our energy. They are responding. Like energy for like energy. When we are the walking wounded, you betcha they are too. Yet we expect the other person to love us.
Love moves. It breathes. It is a life force energy of creation.
And when it moves out of sequence, it feels like loss, betrayal, rejection, grief, abandonment, or confusion — even when nothing “bad” technically happened. You were only out of alignment with your timing.
And this is critical for you to understand:
Love is not meant to be constant. It is meant to be cyclical. You were always designed to connect with the highest version of Love. A sacred Union. So, you may need multiple partnerships in a contract to complete your past-life karma while releasing old love patterns.
Without this understanding, women do two painful things:
They cling when love is asking to evolve into something bigger and greater.
They abandon themselves when love is asking for patience and to wait for the timing in their Soul’s Contract.
Both feel like failure — but neither is.
Why Relationship Guilt Is So Common
Here’s the truth most women aren’t told:
You are not meant to prioritize love, purpose, and money equally at all times., it’s a juggling act. Yearly in your Annual Profession there’s a main energetic focus. Just like each new year brings about a new energy, you need to know how this will impact you from within your Soul’s contract. When the Lot of Eros is not the lead force in your Soul Contract:
Love may feel quieter
Desire may recede
Relationships may feel heavy or uncertain
That doesn’t mean love is broken. It means another pillar is currently leading, maybe Money or Purpose. When women don’t have this context, they moralize the experience:
“I’m choosing work over love.”
“I sacrificed too much.”
“I failed at partnership.”
“I should be happier than I am.”
This guilt is not spiritual. It’s a structural misunderstanding.
Why Desire Changes (And Why That’s Not a Red Flag)
Desire doesn’t disappear because you’re unhealed or disconnected.
It changes because:
Your nervous system is integrating
Your identity is reorganizing
Your life chapter is shifting
The Lot of Eros explains when desire is meant to be expressed and when it is meant to rest. Your Soul Contract explains why it’s happening and how to proceed forward.
Trying to force intimacy during integration phases creates resentment.
Trying to revive passion during closure phases creates confusion.
Desire follows timing — not willpower.
How the Soul Contract Heals Love Without Shame
Your Soul Contract doesn’t judge your relationships.
It contextualizes them.
It explains:
why certain partners arrive when they do
why some love feels consuming while other love feels grounding
why some relationships end without betrayal
why others stay but must transform
Love becomes coherent when you stop asking,
“What did I do wrong?”
and start asking,
“What chapter was I in?”
That single shift dissolves years of self-blame.
A Grounded Truth About Love
Love is not something you master once and keep forever.
It is something you navigate through time.
When Eros is honored in sequence:
love stops competing with purpose
intimacy stops threatening stability
pleasure stops feeling irresponsible
Love doesn’t ask you to disappear.
It asks you to arrive at the right time.
A Gentle Invitation
If your relationship history feels heavy, confusing, or unresolved — not because of trauma, but because of timing — your Soul Contract already holds that context.
A Soul Strategy Session reveals how the Lot of Eros is operating in your life now, so you can stop judging your past and start trusting your present.
Love was never the problem.
The lack of timing awareness was.