The Lot of Spirit — When Purpose Feels Heavy and Leadership Feels Lonely

Dear Reader,

There comes a moment when purpose, our careers, or businesses stop feeling inspiring and start feeling heavy, forced, and all consuming of our energy.

You’re still capable. You’re still competent. You’re still doing what you’ve always done. But the joy is gone. The clarity feels muted. Motivation doesn’t rise the way it used to. And quietly, in the background, a question forms that you rarely say out loud:

What’s wrong with me?

If this is where you are, let me be very clear.

Nothing is wrong with you. What you’re experiencing is not a loss of purpose. It’s a shift in the timing of identity. Think back to when this period of discontent began. You may have had an epiphany while back or an inkling about something you’d rather be doing instead of running in circles like a hamster on a wheel. But you stayed the course for a variety of reasons; usually, it’s financial in nature, because our income is bound to our lives. So, rather than pivot, we remain stagnant to survive.

Why Purpose Is Often the First Thing We Question

Most women are taught that purpose should be constant. The story goes that everything should click into place. Once you “find it,” you’re expected to:

• stay aligned

• stay motivated

• stay grateful

• stay committed

So when purpose starts to feel burdensome, women internalize it as failure. Purpose, we’re told, is something you arrive at — not something that evolves. So when purpose begins to feel heavy rather than energizing, unclear rather than inspiring, women don’t question the system.
They question themselves.

And for women in leadership, entrepreneurship, or caregiving roles, that self-judgment cuts even deeper. Leaders do this even more harshly.. It’s the quiet questioning no woman wants to talk about, that inner dialogue that starts to shift.

Not loudly.
Not dramatically.
But persistently.

Thoughts like:

• “I should be further along by now.”

• “The numbers aren’t adding up.”

• “Why does this feel harder than it used to?”

• “Why can’t I access the passion I once had?”

• “I;m not reaching old milestones.”

• “What if I’ve outgrown what I built?”

These questions don’t arise because you’re ungrateful. They don’t appear because you’re unmotivated. And they certainly don’t mean you’re failing. They appear when something deeper is changing.

Purpose is usually the first thing we question because it’s the first place Spirit begins to reorganize.

When your inner architecture shifts, the old motivations stop working. The goals that once fueled you no longer hold the same charge. What used to feel meaningful now feels… incomplete. This isn’t a collapse (a tower moment is what they call it in Tarot) or a meltdown; it’s recalibration. Yes, something is changing because when the Lot of Spirit is activated in your Soul Contract, and there’s an opportunity being manifested for you to pivot.

Your nervous system, your values, and your sense of self are updating faster than your identity can keep up. And instead of being taught how to navigate that transition, women are taught to push through it.

To stay consistent.
To stay strong.
To stay the same.

But purpose was never meant to be static. It was meant to grow and expand as you do.

When purpose starts to feel distant, strained, or questioned, it’s often because you’re standing at the threshold of a more honest alignment — one that requires releasing who you had to be in order to become who you are now.

And that moment? That moment always feels uncomfortable before it feels clear.

What the Lot of Spirit Actually Governs

The Lot of Spirit governs:

• identity

• purpose

• motivation

• authority

• pleasure in expression

• how you lead and why you lead

But here’s what most women aren’t told.

The Lot of Spirit does not exist to define your purpose like a job title or mission statement.

It exists to reveal when your core identity is changing — and how that shift is meant to restore alignment, authority, and internal motivation.

This Shows Up in Real Life

For women in leadership, this moment rarely announces itself as a spiritual awakening. It shows up as questions about balance. You start asking how to do more without burning out — but what you’re really asking is how to stop living out of obligation. You think you’re searching for better time management, clearer boundaries, or a new strategy… yet underneath, your identity is quietly renegotiating its role. This is why so many women say they want to pivot — but can’t name what they’re pivoting toward.

Because the shift isn’t external. It’s internal.

The Lot of Spirit signals a change in direction that is inspired by pleasure, satisfaction, and sustainable joy — not hustle, pressure, or performance. When Spirit activates, leadership is no longer driven by proving, surviving, or holding everything together.

It becomes grounded in your Soul’s core identity. And that anchoring changes everything.

You no longer lead from exhaustion.
You lead from clarity.
You no longer chase motivation.
You embody it.

This is where true authority is born — not from position or productivity, but from alignment between who you are and how you move through the world.

Why Misunderstanding Spirit Creates Burnout

When the Lot of Spirit is misunderstood, women try to:

• push through fatigue

• force inspiration

• override intuition

• maintain identities that no longer fit

They call it discipline.
They call it leadership.
They call it responsibility.

But it isn’t. That’s not leadership. That’s survival mode. And the moment Spirit begins to reorganize, survival strategies stop working — not to punish you, but to guide you back to the version of yourself that leads with meaning, pleasure, and authority that actually lasts.

Why Leadership Feels Lonely in Certain Seasons

Leadership becomes isolating when Spirit is in transition.

During these periods:

• validation doesn’t land

• success feels hollow

• praise feels undeserved

• responsibility feels heavier than usual

Not because you’re ungrateful.

But because the identity that built this life is no longer the one meant to carry it forward.

The Lot of Spirit explains when leadership is meant to:

• expand

• refine

• decentralize

• or completely reorient

Without this context, women blame themselves for something that is actually evolutionary.

Where Pleasure Fits Into Purpose (And Why It Matters)

This is the part most leadership models ignore.

Spirit is not just about duty.
It’s about pleasure in expression.

When pleasure disappears, it’s often because:

• purpose has become performative

• identity has calcified

• success is being maintained instead of embodied

Pleasure is not a reward.

It’s a signal.

And when pleasure leaves, Spirit is asking for attention — not endurance.

The Cost of Ignoring Spirit Timing

When women override Spirit timing:

• burnout masquerades as discipline

• resentment replaces inspiration

• confidence erodes quietly

• leadership becomes obligation

And worst of all, women begin to doubt themselves — not their timing.

This is how powerful women lose trust in their own authority.

How the Soul Contract Restores Authority

There is a moment most women in leadership experience — though few have language for it. On the outside, nothing looks broken.
You’re competent. Capable. Respected. You’ve built something real. But inside, leadership starts to feel… distant. Not wrong. Just disconnected.

You don’t want to quit. You don’t want to burn it all down. And you’re not looking for a drastic reinvention.

What you want is for leadership to feel like yours again. This is where the Soul Contract enters — not as a concept, but as timing.

Your Soul Contract doesn’t ask you to abandon leadership. It asks you to meet it from a truer place.

When the Lot of Spirit activates within your Soul Contract, it marks a precise moment when your identity is ready to evolve. The old version of authority — the one built on endurance, responsibility, or proving — quietly expires. Not because it failed… but because it completed its role.

This is why the tension shows up now. The Lot of Spirit begins to ask different questions:

Can your leadership include pleasure without guilt?
Can authority feel rooted instead of exhausting?
Can motivation come from alignment instead of pressure?

The Soul Contract restores authority by giving you context for this moment.

It shows you why now.
Why the strategies that once worked don’t land anymore.
Why forcing clarity feels heavier than waiting for it.

And most importantly, it shows you how to integrate this shift without walking away from your life.

You don’t lose authority when Spirit reorganizes. You evolve to claim it through embodied growth.

Leadership stops being something you carry alone — and becomes something you inhabit fully. Decisions sharpen. Boundaries strengthen. Motivation returns, not because you pushed harder, but because your leadership is once again anchored to your core identity.

This isn’t a breakdown. It’s maturation.

And when the Soul Contract is honored in sequence and timing, leadership stops feeling isolating — and starts feeling sovereign again, right where you are.

A Grounded Invitation

If purpose feels heavy, leadership feels isolating, or pleasure has quietly disappeared from your work, your Soul Contract already explains why.

A Soul Strategy Session brings clarity to how your Lot of Spirit is unfolding now — so you can lead from coherence instead of self-doubt.

You didn’t lose your purpose.

You’re becoming someone who carries it differently.